QUEER INSIGHTS FOR THE BLACK SHEEP IN ALL OF US

Are you the black sheep in your family who chafes at traditions and seeks examples of how to redefine them?

The Wisdom of Guncles is about queer people and our relationship with family — however we choose to define it. Featuring a diverse pantheon of gay uncles (“guncles”) and other queer mentors, these stories offer unique perspectives about life, love, and personal empowerment.

With each chapter, I examine what various LGBTQ+ experiences teach about disrupting norms, exploring identity, and creating chosen families that affirm one’s truth. Readers will ponder questions such as:

• How do I challenge and change traditions that hide those that are different?

• If I choose to never dim my light, will I become a beacon for others lost in the dark?

• How will recovering past stories and unsung heroes help us create a better future?

• How can I leave a space more welcoming that how I found it?

The Wisdom of Guncles shares ten powerful journeys, each bearing knowledge honed through struggle and triumph, on living with audacious authenticity and compassion. While these narratives are unapologetically queer, they hold universal lessons about the human condition that, like all stories about family, are grounded in love.

The Guncle Pantheon

The book is written according to 10 archetypes of hard-won wisdoms, reflections and cautionary tales reflective of the lived queer narrative:

• The Black Sheep (preview) offers an introduction to the underlying premise of how queer people’s role as the perpetual black sheep or outcasts of a family offers them unique perspectives. From challenging traditions to disrupting toxic patterns of behavior, this chapter explores how queer mentors help families and communities become more inclusive and equitable.

• The Bridge offers how my own story as a gay, Filipino immigrant who survived an oppressive dictatorship then migrated to Australia, California, then Washington, DC makes me uniquely qualified to bridge cultures, histories and ideas. I demonstrate this through my role as a guardian to two female, biracial (half-Filipino, half-Black) cousins who grapple with their intersectional identities. 

• The Skeptic offers the story of a gay Peruvian immigrant and their close relationship with their decade-younger sister and her biracial daughter. His story demonstrates the power in questioning authority and institutions, and why young people must be equipped to decide their destiny for themselves.  

• The Explorer offers the story of a gay, disabled, wheelchair-using African-American academic from Ohio who travels the world to escape prejudice and ultimately find his true self. He is the god-father to a young, biracial woman in whom he wants to instill the love for exploration.

• The Pioneer offers the story of a gay immigrant from Venezuela who escapes turmoil by coming to America. Here he establishes a new life and community that becomes a safe harbor for his niece who looks to her guncle’s life-lessons on resilience and self-reliance as she navigates life as an undocumented student.

• The Nerd offers the story of a pansexual, transgender cosplayer from Atlanta who found the love, affirmation and support they lacked from their abusive parents in their cosplay, fan convention, and choral communities. As a god-parent, they created a safe space for their god-child to come out. Their story proves the power and integrity of chosen families. 

• The Alchemist offers the story of a queer, non-binary drag artist from Paraguay who suffered their immigrant parents' disappointment that they will never be the “golden child.” An artist who dismantles gender-norms, they created the safe-space they never had to embolden their niece to come out.

• The Beacon offers the story of an engaged gay couple whose same-sex relationship has become their many niblings’ only example of relationship stability. One comes from a Catholic family in Boston, the other a conservative Christian family in Maryland. Their story teaches that love is love.  

• The Chameleon offers the story of a bisexual, African-American, non-binary, Army veteran from Alaska who has decided to never dim their light ever again after a lifetime of code-switching and a family legacy of hiding queer members. Their inspiring story of assertive authenticity becomes a beacon for their niblings and siblings to live their truth.  

• The Elder offers the story of a queer, retired government worker in New York City who survived the AIDS crisis then became the leader of a family who has yet to know his full truth. Their legacy This story honors the stories of all our secretly queer uncles and aunties who were hidden away, but inspired future generations to create a world where everyone can come into the light.

Early Praise & Editorial Reviews

“Dumlao's The Wisdom of Guncles is a loving, empathetic ode to queer people and the emotional power they have to teach and guide their own families to make a better worlD.”

- Tom Fitzgerald and Lorenzo Marquez, authors of Legendary Children

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“Bold, powerful, and immensely inspiring. Through the stories in The Wisdom of Guncles
I feel not just seen and accepted, but celebrated and valued.”

- Andrew Gelwicks, Author of The Queer Advantage

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“The Wisdom of Guncles is the cocktail party you don't want to leave. Everyone attending is sharing hard-earned wisdom, the language is colorful and addicting, and you are devastated when it ends.”

-Allen Gannett, Author of The Creative Curve

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“The Wisdom of Guncles is a big warm hug of a book. Stocked with wisdom, it pays honor to its subjects through the sheer exuberance with which Michael Dumlao celebrates authenticity and heart.”

- Marc Ambinder, Journalist, Author ofThe Brink and USC Annenberg Senior Fellow

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“With compelling stories that speak to the vastness of chosen families, this book gives wisdom and hope to the young queer kid who will quickly learn that “black sheep” is a strength. It is a stand out amongst all other queer books.”

- AC Dumlao, Activist/Educator and Creator of "Call Me They"

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“This book will help readers become comfortable with whomever they are, embrace their true identity, and will encourage them to celebrate the guncles they know. Readers will be exposed to different cultures, customs, and family dynamics and will learn that every family benefits from the presence of a guncle.”

- Judy Martin, Educator

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“Dumlao has a natural talent for building the arc of a story that moves the reader to tears. In revealing the diverse, hilarious, heartbreaking, and must-read lives of LGBTQ people, he teaches life lessons that can apply to everyone.”

- Anthony Lacey, Journalist and Creator of Dining With Strangers

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“Dumlao’s collected stories are multi-generational, relatable, and thoroughly inspiring. A book that leaves you wanting to make the world a better place for the next generation.”

- Allen Devine, Senior Manager, KPMG

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“This book is a collection of vivid, captivating, and relatable stories that celebrate the fabulous queer role models from our personal lives who helped us become who we are today.”

- JD Brady, Influencer Content Creator

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“Dumlao has permanently shifted my view of my own role in my extended family. His book is a guide to anyone who’s a black sheep in their family filled with advice about how to be fully yourself.”

- David Brown, Chair, LGBTQ Network of Young Professionals Organization

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“The Wisdom of Guncles will enrich you with deep knowing and kinship. I especially appreciate the inclusion of non-binary and trans stories. The passionate connection to the history behind these diverse stories shone through brightly.”

- Laura Lange, Senior Global Project Manager, Genentech

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“This book is for everybody who has forged their own path in life, defying expectations and transforming the future. It's a story about how being different is a blessing, and how daring to be different can change our world for the better.”

- Yanev Suissa, Founder, SineWave Ventures

and many more…